Angela's Blog
A Bit About me

Welcome to my personal weblog! I have many areas of interest as a Christian wife and home schooling mother of 6 girls: writing, poetry, website design, digital photography, a home business (sewing); however, this blog will focus more on the wonderful journey the Lord has brought our family through and what the Lord has shown me in His Holy Word.

I know that my devotionals don't often speak of specifics in our lives, but I want my readers to know that what I write comes most often from what the Lord is doing in our lives, or has done. I don't just repeat words by this preacher or that one. My devotionals are often written through a haze of tears, sometimes in grief, sometimes in peace at God's goodness for what He is doing for our good. At other times, after a flood of tears over my lack of faith in His great plan for us, especially after I've seen Heaven's gates open in another miraculous answer to prayer. What I write is what God shows me through those trials which He brings because of His great goodness as He works out His perfect plan. - Angela.

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People's Baptist Church
Old Fashioned, KJB

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Wrestling With God

I’ve heard and often said that the greatest battles we will face are against our own selves. As I was driving, I was having my own wrestling match with God. It only lasted about 2 minutes, but it really was the final conflict of an issue I’d been wrestling with myself for just over 2 years on one issue, and it seems all my life in others. It amazed me how draining these two minutes turned out to be, especially when the added element of wrestling with myself was added in.

To be blunt, I was being foolish. I was fretting over a situation that I had no control over. My thoughts were along these lines:

“I wonder if this would work? Maybe not…. Oh this would be better… No, not that either…”  

On and on it went. I was on a merry-go-round!

Then words from a recent sermon struck me: I was being prideful! I thought I could handle the situation better than God! I lacked faith. I felt that my life could not be fulfilling as a Christian until a situation was dealt with, or rather, that I had a part in resolving it.

Someone who claimed to be a Christian had hurt many families, including ours, and I was convinced that this person had to be stopped. God’s name was being brought down among believers and blasphemed by the lost after all!  

As I began to surrender this over to the Lord, I knew I had to let God be God. This was not easy to accept. Not being able to take care of something on our own is a struggle for many, including me. It seemed like God was telling me: What if God's will could be accomplished better with this person continuing their hurtful behavior? What if more souls ended up being reached because of it? I couldn’t see how, but I finally accepted that God knows best and that He would deal with this person in His timing and His way. He does not let sin go unpunished, so what about me? It was way past time for me to deal with me or God would have to.  

When I realized that my lack of faith was rooted in self-pride,  I was truly hearetbroken and repentent. I was prideful – an abomination before God.

"Every one that is proud in heart is an abomination to the LORD: though hand join in hand, he shall not be unpunished." Pro 16:5  

No, I could not take care of this better than God, so I needed to give it over to Him, stop fretting about it, and let God be God.  I was mentally exhausted at that point. This wrestling match might have only last two minutes or so, but it broke a thought process of sin that had grpipped me for over two years.

“What a wrestling match!” I thought.

Then the paralells with the Biblical account of Jacob’s wrestling match began to dawn on me. In Genesis 32:24-32, Jacob is wrestling with whom he first thinks is an angel, but realizes at the end that it is God in the form of man, or the theological term – a ‘pre-incarnate Christ’.  Think on this! The passage says that “when He (God) saw that He prevailed not against him…” (vs.25) In order for God’s physical form to not be able to prevail against a human being, God chose to lower himself, or drop his physical abilities in order to accomplish what was necessary in Jacob’s life.

What a picture of our Jesus! It’s as described in Hebrews 2:7a,9b:

“Thou madest him a little lower than the angels…” (vs 7) and “But we see Jesus, who was made a little lower than the angels….” (vs 9)

In order for God not to be able to prevail against Jacob, He had to have the identical physical abilities – like a physical clone or Jacob himself, as Jacob had to be weakened for the Lord to prevail. Isn’t that how God works with our will and sin nature? The sin nature is so strong because of our pride and stubborness that God has to weaken it, so the Lord can finally have impact to change us.  

The Bible doesn’t say, but I can’t help think Jacob was happy at times about this new weakness. It meant so much! A tremendous battle against Jacob’s sin nature had been won, and God was on his side! 

Through this, I also realized that the two forms of a wrestling match are very different. One holds little to no profit, yet the other great profit. My wresting match with myself, apart from God and His Word, had very little profit since it exalted myself and left God out of the solution. Bringing the matter to God, and searching out the Scriptures produced a peace in my soul that could only be achieved through allowing myself to give a matter over to the Lord. 

Fretting and worrying are sins of pride and lack of faith. At least sometimes now, when I start to fret about anything, my wrestling match with God comes back to mind, and I repent. I cannot take care of situations better than God, and He knows best.

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